i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
you would pick up someone in the library
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Randomize
