Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
