I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize