I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
