no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
