All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
