Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
