I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
