am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
This gyro tastes like lonliness
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
