Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
