Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
