And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA