im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
