I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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