I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
