You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize