soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
It's blow job season.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
