He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
