I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
