cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
