WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
