Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
