she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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