I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
