you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
