We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
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