Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
