Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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