I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
