just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Randomize
