I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
