Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
