He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
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