So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
