After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
