Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Randomize
