That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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