She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.