Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Randomize
