Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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