Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
your parents love me but you hate me
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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