you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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