I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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