our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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