He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
