Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
