I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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