You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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