Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I stole a fireplace last night.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
