who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
