What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
No stitches, just platelets and will power
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
