Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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