Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
