So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
