I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
