We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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