I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
