so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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