Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
