My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i just made my gag reflex go away.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
