I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
